No Fear.

Funny thing, as I type this I was thinking about the mini series we're in at church. The sermon in this mini series is about having No Fear. Apparently, Someone in charge has decided that I should get over ALL my fears.
Well, if you had asked me a few years ago what my biggest fears would be, i would have answered the following as such:
1. Losing someone I dearly love.
2. Getting pregnant right after having a baby.

No I'm not pregant. (I'm 100% positive! well really that should be negative! HAHA!) Anyway, we all know #1 happened 2 years ago. I survived, but with deep scars. Thinking of Josh's Birthday, made me think of last year on his birthday. I came home from my dad's house and decided it's been a little long since my last noticable cycle (but those things tend to be really screwed up after having a baby.) So i took a pregnancy test. it was POSITIVE. Holy crap. All I thought was 'Mason is just days away from being 6 months old!' HOLY CRAP. HOLY CRAP. HOOOOOLY CRAP! according to my last cycle I would have been 6-8 weeks along (but didn't think I was really that far along.) but if that was the case then Mason and his younger sibling would be 13-14 months apart. THAT's also called Irish TWINS. O.M.G! I think i almost crapped my pants! Good thing I was already on the toilet. HAHA just kidding!
So I tell Gavin and we decide we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I honestly didn't believe that I was that far along, so we just thought- lets give it time. I didn't tell anyone except Sara and Kristin. I even took the 2nd pregnancy test 2 days later to see if it was still positive! (and it was!) LOL Long story short after a trip to the Dr who said I wasn't preggo and the BIGGEST relief sigh E.V.E.R-- my cycle finally came back around 2 weeks later after being MIA for 10 weeks!! SO whether I just finally got regular or miscarried or what, ultimately my #2 biggest fear came true (and then false.) SO i guess someone is telling me to get over my fears and fast. Guess that it is in his plan for me and maybe have some bigger purpose I'm not seeing.
So bottom line, what doesn't kill you definitely does make you stronger!